Why do parents over-protect their children in the real world, and under-protect their children in the digital world?

During a recent Creative Arts lesson I supported, something surprising happened. One of our boys, who is usually distracted and struggling to stay focused,  sat quietly, deeply absorbed in his work. I watched him draw and paint, carefully and intentionally., I was excited to see him so engaged.

But when I walked closer, I noticed what had captured him: he was recreating detailed images of the Poppy Playtime characters, fictional creatures from a creepy, horror-themed game designed to look like a children’s animation. That moment stirred a mix of emotions in me.  Curiosity, concern, and yes, a bit of disappointment. Why did this concept, one with such dark and surreal elements, grab his attention so powerfully?

Afterward, I found myself reflecting deeply on the broader issue: Why are some children affected by inappropriate or disturbing media, while others seem completely unfazed?

Not long ago, a parent told me confidently, “My children aren’t affected by what they watch on TV.” But from what I understand, both as a mother and from research, that’s just not possible. Whether a child acts on what they see or not, it absolutely has an impact.

Let me explain why.

Children’s Brains Are Still Forming And Absorbing Everything

Between the ages of 5 and 12, a child’s brain is in what scientists call a critical development phase. It absorbs information rapidly, like a sponge. This is when neural pathways (the brain’s communication highways) are being built, shaping the way a child learns, thinks, and feels.

What they watch, listen to, and experience feeds directly into those forming pathways.

So while a disturbing animation might seem harmless on the surface, it can subtly affect how a child understands fear, empathy, safety, and even relationships, especially when no adult is helping them process what they’re seeing.

The Prefrontal Cortex: The Emotional Control Center is Still in Progress

One of the most important parts of the brain,  the prefrontal cortex, is responsible for things like:

• Emotional control

• Impulse regulation

• Judging right from wrong

• Responding to stress

  
  

But here’s the critical point: this part of the brain doesn’t fully develop until early adulthood,  and is still very immature in primary school children. That means children don’t yet have the tools to process disturbing scenes the way adults do.

When young children are exposed to creepy, violent, or disturbing content (even if it’s in a cartoon format), they often don’t know how to interpret it, and it sticks. It can show up in their drawings, play behaviour, nightmares, anxiety, or even hyper-focus, like I saw that day in class.

What Children See Most Becomes Their “Normal”

The brain is wired to adapt to repeated exposure. It’s called neural plasticity.  The brain shapes itself around the experiences it has most often. So if a child is consistently exposed to dark, scary, or inhumane ideas, these become familiar. Over time, what once seemed creepy can feel normal,  even entertaining.

Why Some Kids Seem “Fine” (But Aren’t)

It’s true: not all children react the same way. Some seem unaffected,  they don’t have nightmares, they don’t talk about it, and they may even laugh at scary content.

But here’s the science: Just because they don’t show a reaction doesn’t mean their brains and emotions aren’t being shaped.

Some children may:

• Internalise anxiety rather than act it out

• Desensitise emotionally (stop reacting to fear or violence)

• Become more passive or more aggressive in social interactions

  
  

As a mother, I encourage you, parents and caregivers, to:

• Monitor what your children watch and play

• Watch with them when possible and talk about what they see

• Redirect their interests to content that builds creativity, kindness, and curiosity

• Keep communication open: if they draw something unusual, ask about it with curiosity, not judgment

  
  

And most importantly: trust your instincts. If something seems “off” about a show, game, or character, it probably is.

That day in Creative Arts reminded me of how powerful media influence is. It also reminded me how much children want to connect — even if it’s through characters we may not approve of. Our job is to gently guide them back to what is good, true, and safe for their hearts and minds.

Because in the end, what they focus on now shapes who they are becoming.